Rock of Gibraltar by Anthony D Darden

Rock of Gibraltar
© 2017 Anthony D Darden
The moment you are born and the influence of your parents have a tremendous effect on how you view life.  It determines your outlook and how you relate.
What is it that makes you, you? Your reason, purpose, and meaning. In this tangled web of life, we are defined by many things. Though, regardless of how we are defined, our greatest asset is our heart. It is the one true nature of our being that we can neither evade or hide from. Unless, of course, you are heartless. Or would seem so. The heart takes on many characteristics. But most can agree, if you are kind, compassionate, loving, humble, and sympathetic, you have a better chance at waving through life’s predicaments and building productive and secure relationships as well as having a productive and fulfilling life.   
We all like to think we are an island. We like to believe we are strong, and can handle anything that comes our way. Especially when we have life by the balls and everything is going our way. Sometimes those innate characters’ seep in, and moral fortitude can get caught up in egotism. And if we do not have enough sensibility to understand when we are being unreasonable, at some point in time, if not corrected or amends made, karma will be the price.  
A conscious being is a strong being. It begins with a strong and solid foundation. Building character and strength, and defining the core values of your being, is no easy task. Because everything starts from home. The moment you are born and the influence of your parents have a tremendous effect on how you view life.  It determines your outlook and how you relate. If you grow up in a home that’s always in plight, that baggage will carry over. If you grow up in a home of love, respect, and support, that baggage will carry over. It is a parent’s job to protect and raise their child to be respectful, honest, caring, humble, and supportive. The basic elements of life’s essentials. Prepare them for a cruel world that they have enough confidence to aspire, be productive, and ascend to leave a positive mark, not only to make their parents proud, but a legacy for their family to come.
Parents should lead by example. They are the arch, the foundation and meaning. They are to be looked up to. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Their job is to instill in their child, faith and believe. They are the backbone and the strength. They are to teach them right from wrong. They are to teach them love and respect of all humanity. They are to instill in them courage, strength, and confidence, that they will flourish and find a path of enlightenment, and know someone is always there if they falter. It is not an easy job, especially when you must put your foot down. Parenting is not a friendship. It is a meaning and purpose. It is a reason and logical process that must be upheld even in defiance, which is sure to come. The main thing is to stay the course. Saying no today, means a greater yes down the road. It protects them when they are not emotionally or mentally equipped to see and understand now. It lays the foundation for their strength and morality that will pay off later down the road. It comes at a price to building greater respect and unconditional love. A foundation needed to forge a respectable and loving human being who doesn’t take life for granted and have earned the wealth of their life.  
A child that grows to understand the complexities of parenting and the sacrifices made, will love and respect you more for giving them strength, confidence, and unyielding support. Especially when they become parents and know they are the sole responder for another human being. Because without, they are left to struggle and have no basic foundation of finding their way. Not to say they will not find their way. It will be much harder. Resentment toward their parent can build in frustration. It also distills lack of respect and trust. For the simple fact, once they are parents and have their own family, the last person they are going to turn to for wisdom and strength, is the parent who has offered them no foundation of survival.  
If you let you child walk all over you and the people in their life, they are going to carry it with them wherever they go. Respect and love is not a turn on and off button. It starts at home. It starts with family and friends. If not, they are in danger of becoming self-loathing narcissist who think and feel they are entitled. They will lack in empathy, honesty, and confidence. They can even spiral into depression and become vulnerable to anyone lavishing them with attention. A child that is not given hope, faith, and a basic moral foundation to stand on, when they must step up and face the real world, will blame the parent for their faults. It’s basic human nature. They most often drown in their own pity. The friendship that prevailed over parenting, will falter in the end. Because children need someone who they can look up to without impunity. They need to know they have someone unconditionally. They need to know they have someone that they can trust, turn to, and always believe in. Someone that can give it to them on the real, whether they like it or not. Someone that is beyond reproach or question. Someone that have laid the foundation and giving them an enlightening path to follow. Someone they always have, to fall back on. Someone that is true and real, and holds the utmost respect, that is not only a leader, but an example of growth, wisdom, and prosperity. Someone that is a true Rock of Gibraltar.

Less Sex, Less Security, Less You by Anthony D Darden

Less Sex, Less Security, Less You
© 2017 Anthony D Darden

After one month of bliss, more and more people are having less sex in their relationship.
People are more in their head than in their emotions. With the burden of the world on their shoulders, atlas is shrugging. Priorities have shifted. Peer pressure is on. The need to keep up with the Kardashians has become a defining aspect of illogical reasoning, and lack in moral contribution and attributes. More and more people has become subjective. The strong have become weak, subsiding their physical and mental prosperity for brands, labels, and fantasies of fast wealth that flash, day in and day out, before their very eyes, through soul sucking networks that are hooked into billions of accounts, and draining them penniless of liberty, morality, life, and love.
The greatness of unity has been broken. Family no longer means strength, honesty, loyalty, love, and togetherness. Couples struggle each day to identify each other. It would seem, at a glance, everything is alright. But Jack is worried about being short on next month’s payments, even though Little Bo Peep looks like a million bucks in that new designer dress, new diamonds and gold chain, and two hundred dollar pumps to boot. Plus, there was something else bothering him. Jill! Deep down he was starting to feel it. He even said it in his mind. Jack and Jill. It makes more sense.
Very rarely do we see real, genuine people these days. Genuine people are caring and kind. The kind that calls you out of the blue, just to say hello, and see how you are doing. The kind that invites you in, and always has a plate at the dinner table for you. The kind that makes you smile, always has nice, soothing, warm, and funny words of comfort and security. The kind that gives you advice, and not their opinion. The kind that are with you through thick and thin, just a phone call away. You can’t get any more genuine.
Couples are not interactive these days. They are together. They wake up to the buzz of the coffee machine. Depending on if they have one or two bathrooms, who is going to hit the shower first. Then it’s a peck on the cheek, and sometimes a muffin out the door with that coffee to go to start those twelve and sixteen hour days. Not much room for sex after the day pounds you into the ground. Sex is not like it used to be. Anytime of the day and night. Always kissing and necking like two school kids. Always ready for a dare, and spare of the moment. Sex was plentiful, relentless, and filled with making memories. Then it got caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, reality knocked at the door, and the producer said, it’s a wrap.
After one month of bliss, more and more people are having less sex in their relationship. Once the fire is extinguished, and the novelty has lost its appeal, people find it hard to relate and connect. A house built without a foundation is hard to sustain. Good looks, a banging body, and smoking in bed, may spin your head for a while and have you dreaming up all kinds of fantasies of an everlasting life. But without due diligence, a fantasy is just a fantasy. A fantasy holds nothing to the substance of reality. A fantasy can be bought and paid for. Reality cannot. Once the novelty is gone, if there is nothing of substance, if the minds have not met, and the only thing holding you together is good looks, a hot body, and a few tricks up your sleeve, it’s just a matter of time before your world comes crashing down.
Forgoing ethical and moral intimacy, more relationships lack core value. They trend in low self-esteem and insecurity. Instead of seeking self-worth and building confidence from the ground up, to assure faith, understanding, and depth, they thrive to build an imagine of material wealth to rectify and justify their existence, purpose, and meaning. Twelve and sixteen hour days justify the purpose for absentee and lack of participation. Where love is supposed to be the reason, meaning, and purpose, it falls to the wayside and eventually gets lost in transition. Days start out, one day at a time. Before you know it, time has passed, and that little string that’s holding things together, has broken.
There is no magical pill or theory to define one state of love. Love is many things. But the things to sustain love, and give it the gift of wings to soar and defy all odds, is the gift of self, and what is of you that defines and inspire the growth and strength of all your relationships. A person in love wakes with a smile. They have the gift of hope, faith, belief, and optimism at their side. They have the purest intentions, unshaded by doubt or fear. Most beginnings are dreamy. Everything, perfect. Love is blooming, and the air is fresh and clean. Joyful days, reach out and beyond one’s imagination, giving light to soul’s fire. A beautiful day and start, deserving something special and real. Deserving your smile, your laughter, and the beat of your joyful heart. Love is deserving of every moment and second of your happiness. It deserves the best of you, that you aspire as well as inspire.     
If you want love, if love has knocked at your door with a great big smile, dreamy eyes, kissable lips, and soothing arms of comfort and serenity, seize the day.  True love is extraordinary. It is the one thing most dream of and aspire to be. The secret to finding love is not to seek your happiness in someone else, but to be happy and evolve in that happiness, that you find someone just as complementing, eager, humble, and loving as you. Someone that shares mutual desires and dreams, that is considerate and kind. Someone that is fascinated by you, admiring, and willing to give their heart and soul. Someone just like you, a mere reflection that opens the door and releases all your inner ambitions. Someone you desire to hold in your arms every moment of the day. Someone you can look deep in the eyes, say I love you, and feel it all the way down to your toes, even, in trying times.

Just you & I

Just you & I
© 2017 Anthony D Darden
An uncut relationship, like an uncut diamond, needs to be shaped and refined. It takes time, patience, trust, honesty, and determination to reach an elite state.
Waking with a smile is a beautiful thing. Especially if you have someone lying next to you that you love, admire, and want to be with forever. Just you and I ring synonymous with togetherness, do or die, and forevermore. It is one of our deepest ambitions. The thought that someone is out there for us is aspiring. It is titillating. It is human nature, a deep, natural affinity of intimacy, love, sexuality, and spirituality. A soulmate renders kindness and induces a deep, honest, sexual connection. A soulmate not only reflects our deepest desires, but carry an innate instinct to protect, care, and see the best of us. Even at their own expense. What emanates from a soul mate is a parallel validation. The attraction and impact are sudden, staggering, and breathtaking. It is not something planned, or even something you are looking for. It’s the nature of chemistry, when you meet someone, automatically click, and can’t seem to pull yourself away. You find yourself thinking about them day in and day out. It often becomes an obsession and a dying need. It renders you helpless to fight off the attraction, curiosity, and yearning to know more. Love at first sight would be more appropriate. Something most people don’t believe in until it hits them hard and out of nowhere. Something most people would give their life to feel and surrender to.
Soulmates aren’t always instant. Sometimes it takes time to see what has been in front of you the whole time. That is because you were not emotionally equip. Which is the state of most people today. A morality of material substance has saturated the view. People are choosing wealth over love. They are lacking in integrity, trust, patience, and the desire to build their own value, security, and spiritual wealth that is more valuable than diamonds and gold.
Love is a beautiful thing. It takes us to greater and newer heights. It is the one true thing that cannot be brought. It is a power untold, revitalizing, and pure in its essence. To find someone akin, that share your hopes, desires, and dreams, only comes along once or twice in a lifetime. It is rare. Though, it is a raw diamond in the rough. Because even if you meet someone who is true to the nature of your heart’s desires, you must be equipped with enough sensibility to pick up and carry the torch forward. You must understand the significance and value that has been bestowed upon you. You must be of clear mind and clear consciousness. You must believe in yourself and what you must contribute in the growth and strength of your emotions wholeheartedly, and your desires in supplementing your partners.
An exclusive, loving and caring, relationship is a two-way street. An uncut relationship, like an uncut diamond, needs to be shaped and refined. It takes time, patience, trust, honesty, and determination to reach an elite state. Love may be the lead and inspiration, but the path and choices made will define the power and strength of your love. The key elements of growth and longevity are respect, honesty, trust, belief, faith, loyalty, and conviction to each other wholeheartedly, without any doubt. Although sometimes, it may be challenging, it is making it through the storm that defines strength, power, and greatness. It brings you closer. It builds more trust and believe. And that, that you have not surrendered because of apprehension, or an air of caution, will find no doubt.
People truly in love stand for each other. They want each other. They desire each other. They admire each other. They are true to each other against any and everything. They will literally die for each other. To have someone that valuable in your life, for you, and knowing without a doubt, it is true, is mindblowing and astounding. It is worth the fight. It is worth surrendering to the doubt, apprehension, or air of caution. Because there is no other greater power on earth. There is no greater feeling on earth. To wake each morning in the arms of someone you truly love, and inspire throughout the day, only makes it just that much stronger. It is a blessing. It is a hope and dream to all romantic hearts. It is inspiring to put our best foot forward. To stand strong and confident. To be real and honest with our self, that God will send us an angel. Someone to love, trust, and admire. Someone that touches our heart and makes us feel like no other. Someone we love, and know, without a doubt, our love is returned in kind. Someone we can grow with and build a kingdom with here on earth. But most of all, without a doubt, someone we are willing to die for, knowing the emotional depth, and serenity, is in turn.     

The true meaning of love

The True Meaning of Love
© 2017 Anthony D Darden
The world is going to hell in a handbasket,
yet people are running selfishly away from family and friends,
believing money is the answer to all their problems.
There is a greatness in all of us. That is the ability to be admired and loved. It’s the ability to understand, accept, and define our greatest strength and weaknesses. Our greatest desire is to find our soulmate. Someone that loves us unconditionally. Someone we can admire, be proud of. Someone who inspires us to be productive and ambitious.  In today’s world, soul mates are hard to find. Even when we feel a connection with someone, it is not always reciprocated. People have grown selfish and unaccountable. They want unconditional love without giving substance and putting in the footwork. They believe it is automatic or they are entitled. They do not want to earn their value or worth. They lack respect, devotion, faith, and trust. They come in with one foot out the door, and ready to run at the slightest inkling of trouble.
More and more people are looking for the easy way out. Moral culture of today is different from the moral culture of the landline and payphone age. When cultivation was restricted to the home, the inner circle of family and close friends. When everything you learned was the cultivation of family generations passing the torch. There were no personal cell phones. There was no social media. It was the strength, backbone, and culture of family and friends. It was when music was real and not produced by beats and autotune. When you had to know how to play an instrument and know how to sing. It was a time when friends were real, and not a social media status. It was when people looked out for each other, stood for each other, and was willing to die for the strength and integrity of each other. It was when people got together for what they felt in their heart and was willing to put the footwork in to solidify it. It was when you went to your parents and grandparents for wisdom and advice. It was when things were real and honest. When love was a look deep into the eyes and depth of forever. When there was never a doubt or question. When love meant something, and was tangible in every breath you took.   
Love is hard felt today. The moral compass is set in a credit score, what material assets you can bring to the table, or your net worth. It’s no longer about the heart. It’s no longer about the purity of what you must offer in building a relationship. Attraction and lust still play their role. But once the curtains are pulled back, if you don’t meet the checklist, you’re nothing but the latest booty call, regardless if they feel for you or not.  
Today love is weak and powerless. The strength of togetherness has been ambushed and brainwashed. Men and women are at war with each other. Families are disengaged. Homes have been infiltrated and dictated by media deception promising wealth and glory to our children who has become disobedient, disconnected, and defiant. Children that are under peer pressure, find the pressure too much, and are ending their lives in record numbers because they believe they have no one to turn to. The world is in turmoil, lack faith, and running on moral apprehension. Parents are too busy to parent. Having to work two and three jobs to keep up with the high demand of their children’s needs, keep a roof over their head, and meet economical standards that have been set by the media and rising prices. The world is going to hell in a handbasket, yet people are running selfishly away from family and friends, believing money is the answer to all their problems.
For sure we have learned that money can’t buy you love. To understand life, we must embrace it and live it. We must understand the value and strength of what we must offer in a relationship. We must understand the core of our being, our morality, and beliefs. We must understand the value and strength of our family and friends. We must build core value from the ground up. Not only to understand the path taken, but to appreciate the integrity of our struggle and the defining of our strength.
A strong man makes a strong woman, and vice versa. When two can take the substance and value of each other’s heart and dreams, and build on them, they become powerful and unbreakable. They know the road. They know the path. They know every brick placed in building their house of love. For their love, has been built one brick at a time. They know their value and worth to each other. They have walked it hand in hand, through every trial and tribulation. They have been honest and trusting. They have been real and true. They have built their strength and obtained their power from the ground up. A prosperous and moral code they can pass on with pride and dignity to their children, family, and friends.
Although life is not easy, and often challenging, it only takes one spark to start a fire. Whether you choose to heed from it, is up to you. That spark is a rare commodity. If it comes around, take hold of it and consider it a blessing, because it may never come around again. To love someone truly and deeply, is not only of the heart, but in actions, fate, and never-ending belief. It is not only the garnishing of emotions, but of selflessness that is rewarded with honor and unquestionable power. It is acceptance. It is surrender. It is reasoning and sometimes compromising. It is the strength of two hearts giving their all to define and compliment the accomplishment of their dreams. It is not the strength of one person, but the strength of two. For without one, there would not be the other. There would not be a bond, the strength, the power, or glory. There would not be the totality of unconditional love. It would only be mere feelings of attraction and lust, without the value, and prosperity of unending love.

LITTLE WHITE LIES by Anthony D Darden

© 2017 Anthony D Darden

Whatever reason, meaning, or purpose of the lie,
if it is not to save a life or a tormented soul,
then be forewarned of the deception.

What is life worth to you? And how do you approach it? The beginning of all things begins with love. How we approach and handle it is totally up to us. Though, when it comes to handling life and love, we are not always equipped. Especially when it comes to someone we are truly in love with. It can be challenging. It can be demanding. It can be deceptive and emotional draining. Although it is believed honesty is the best policy, when emotions are entangled, decisions we make are often based on the moment, the circumstance, and the need to find peace then and there. Even if we must lie to spare emotions and save grace.
Good would be befitting of the moment. We have handled the situation. We have saved face. And as it goes, a small little white lie is better than a big bad truth. So, it would seem. But the problem with a little white lie to save grace, can boomerang later and hurt a lot worse than the truth you should have believed in. Multiple little white lies become a multitude of problems down the road. Because the moment one little white lie is exposed, it leads the questions of how many lies have you told. In pain, no one wants to hear your excuse of saving grace or sparing feelings. Because that seems like a cop out. It implies you did not have faith or belief. That you believed they could not handle the truth. That somehow they are not fully invested and not worthy of the truth.
In turn, those facts alone will set doubt and distrust. Everything you have said and done with be under scrutiny. And the chances of being caught again in a little white lie will manifest from the complicit reaction of your nature. Not because you want it to. Not because you are putting your best foot forward to right your wrongs. But because your programmed nature, of unconscious thoughts, will render the truth and totality, of your own self-deception.
Unless you are totally honest with the people in your life and those you claim to love and respect, at some point judgement will stand before you and the truth will come out. Whatever reason, meaning, or purpose of the lie, if it is not to save a life or a tormented soul, then be forewarned of the deception. Because trivia little white lies can have a snowball effect. They may start out small. They may even save grace and spare momentary tears. They may even get you through the day and make it sunny and bright. But if, and when, the storm hits, God help your soul. Because it is a lot harder to see and believe in the truth once you have set doubt and disbelief in someone’s heart. It doesn’t matter if you are one hundred percent truthful afterward. The stage has been set. It’s going to take a long time to work your way back into the arms of honesty, trust, and belief. If you can. And even if you do, there is always going to be that lingering of doubt, that watchful eye that’s going to always be there and ready to turn and run at a moment’s notice.

I Saw a Beautiful Woman Today

I saw a beautiful woman today. Of course, she didn’t know how beautiful she was. I could see it. But she couldn’t. I even open the door for her. I felt for her. Behind her beauty held sad eyes. Eyes with a lot of lost, tears, heartache, and pain. The shell was beautiful. But you could see the pain. It lined the cracks in her windburned face that looked worried, weary, and unsure. She could not look at me. Her eyes diverted to the ground when I open the door for her. She swiftly slipped by, as if afraid. As if I was going to reach out and grab her. I only smiled, nodded like a gentleman, and went on about my way. Of course, she didn’t see the nod. She was too busy lost in the turmoil that was being tossed around in her mind. You could see it. You could feel it. Her discomfort and the unsureness in her moves as she quickly made her exit and walked awkwardly away.

Written by Anthony D Darden
© 2017

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