They never convicted Al Capone on any real crime. They just followed the money.

Protect yourself against financial abuse and dissipation in your relationship.

© Fiction Writer Anthony Darden

Love is a beautiful thing. Until it goes wrong, that is. Especially when it becomes embroiled with larceny and deceit, and misdirection. You would think, after years in a relationship, there is some faith; there is some kind of loyalty, dignity, and pride to not only the partner, but to self. But one cannot rise above the storm, if in fact, they are the storm.

I’ve seen a lot of things in my lifetime. Especially in relationships, where one partner is so self-consuming and deceitful, that they turn their own child against the person that raised them and supported them to no end. People like this, don’t raise children. They take credit and glory after the fact by simply buying their way into the child’s heart, until the chickens come to roost.

 But what I’ve never seen is a person so distort that they would blow up their whole life, destroy their family, and mislead others, when they are indeed the misconception. 

It is especially sad when supposed family support tell you, I will pray for you, and God bless, against the nature of God, by playing God themselves, people that you thought were family and friends, people you looked after and took care of, and protected, only to know they are part of the storm of judgmental execution.

The validation of years should serve as something. You would think they would have enough respect from you to sit down at the table and say, “Hey, I heard one side of the story. Now I would like to hear your side.” I mean isn’t that what family does? Isn’t that what friends do? Isn’t that what people that claim to love and respect you do? Isn’t that what God-fearing people do? Help, not perpetrate, and add fuel to the fire.

It is impossible to say you love, respect, and care for someone, but turn your back on him or her the next moment, because of someone else’s option, and not on the validity of your relationship with them.  It is sad that one would lose sight of reality and run with gossip to support destruction by gaslighting. If you are not familiar with Gaslighting, it is a form of mental abuse in which a victim is manipulated into doubting his or her own memory, perception and sanity. The whole aim of gaslighting is to decrease someone’s self-esteem and confidence, so they are unable to function in an independent manner.

The end of a person’s character often finds deceit. Where it takes two to tangle, in a relationship, the best way to handle deceit is to let it run its course.  The first course of action, if you are in a long term relationship or marriage, is to open a “house account” with access for both parties. What most people don’t realize is all relationships need a financial foundation. Which I will call your digital file cabinet. If you are talking about building a future, a house account is the epitome of your present and long term management. It is also a recorded electrical record, and legible hand written check book record, detailing the financial structure of your money, and how it is used to reach your financial goals. It doesn’t matter if you and your partner have separate personal and savings accounts. Because we are still individuals and still have our own devices. Plus it upholds our independence and self-worth, pride, and dignity.

The house account is designed for the two. Each partner disturbs the share and affordability of their earning into the house account that covers the home, the care of the home, taxes, savings, and all the necessary bills affiliated with the growth, prosperity, and wealth of the relationship. The most wealthiest house account is one you put into and never withdraw from the whole of the relationship, tending to paying the necessary bills of growth and productivity.

Why is it important to never withdraw. For one, if you have a personal account that allows you the freedom to do what you want, like buy cars, live the life you want, why would you delinquent your house account, your bread and butter for not only the present, but for when you turn old and gray. The last thing you want at sixty-five, is to be out looking for a job, trying to make ends meet.

So, the first one that delinquent the account, unless it’s for investment, to double or triple the money, better have a damn good reason. Because when you start taking from Peter to feed Paul, that’s when things start to get a little trickery. And you know, what trickery is, trickery will do. So, stay the financial course. If you notice that your partner is dipping into the savings, transferring funds from the house account, to their person account, stay the course. Keep putting in your share, but never taking out. It’s like feeding a rat cheese, they become happy, fat, and complacent on your dime.

Actions of someone deceiving you, when found out, is first to act like they forgot to tell you and will, most often, quickly replace it. The second time, “I’ll have it back in a few weeks.” That’s when it’s time to worry. The evasiveness, the emotional disconnect, the insecurity, and the mood swings. Some can hide better than others. But in all, the financial footprints are cement in stone like the Ten Commandments and cannot be altered or changed no matter the greatest argument. Most arrogant bullies will stand and shout to the highest mountain the injustice they are going through. Until they are hit with a discovery motion and the chickens come home to roost.


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