UNARMED MAN © 2016 Anthony D Darden

© 2016 Anthony D Darden

Relationships are hard and trying.
But if you have a good man,
and know without a doubt,
he is the one,
take heed.
Don’t send him into the world unarmed.
There is something to say about leaving your man unarmed. Talk is cheap. If you think you are doing something smart by turning your man down, he better be in love and the relationship better be secure as Fort Knox. Because the first sign of attention from any other female is going to spark up his interest. Not because he wants to or has thought about it. It’s the way most men are programmed, especially if he is a decent man and putting his best foot forward. Men that are honest by nature, their sole/soul purpose for finding love and building a family is of pure desire. It is something he wants, something he craves, something that he feels will make him whole and complete. Something beyond all doubt that is his. They are prone to reception by nature, especially a man that is acceptable to having honest women in his life. Good men put their best foot forward. But met with dismay, trickery, deception, or dishonesty, he is frustrated because he doesn’t know how to respond. He is confused because his best doesn’t seem to be good enough. And when the door opens and the outside world comes rushing in without a warning, it most often rips the good fabric of a relationship apart.

The outside world is cruel and daunting. When you have ears and people whispering in your relationship, it can become painful and elusive. The snowball effect most often take on a spin that spits out one problem after another. The root of your initial problem has been buried due to problems that snowballed after the initial fact. The games are now - “because you did that”, which isn’t a resolution, but another nail in the coffin. Problems, if not handled with respect, dignity, pride, and maturity, will get away from you. They can swallow you whole.

Relationship are hard work. They don’t come in a box already made. You may start out with a pretty picture, and everything your heart desires. First bitten and first caught. You may be so conceived and think you are all that and a bag of chips.  But as the old saying goes – where there is a fine woman, there is a man somewhere that’s tired of her shit, and vice versa.

Power is in the glory of real relationships. Real relationships are receptive to each other’s needs and thoughts. They keep the communication lines open, even if the truth hurts, because they have built up that trust. They know without a doubt they have each other’s back, through the good and the bad, because that’s what it takes to build a strong and secure relationship. They maintain their admiration and respect, and always look for the best of each other. They hold their life adoring, affectionate, and caring, doing for each other that benefits the whole of the relationship. Their strength and power is moving together and winning in changing and challenging times. Never doubting or substituting their heart’s desires. That is the strength of their love, the strength of their passion, and the knowledgeable road they have traveled together. That is a bond that is hard to break, and a power that gets stronger in passing time.   

Real honest relationships believe in one thing - taking care of their partner and their family. When women or men find misconception in that and turn to find trust and belief in someone other than their partner and their relationship, they are opening the door to failure. A relationship cornerstone is built on trust, honesty, and devotion. It is the archer and lead to setting up building blocks of success. No one is responsible for the relationship beyond the trust and belief in each other.  When other entities are brought in, beyond the fact of honest and true support, with bias or injected options, things can go and start to turn bad. An honest relationship is built from several entities. From the beginning, it must be trust. Trusting wholeheartedly is the only way one can surrender. If at any point you have doubt, hesitation, or any misgivings, trust is the one thing that can move you forward or backward. Without trust, or giving your partner the benefit of doubt, sometimes, even when you feel you are compromising, you must remember, no one person in a relationship is always right. That’s the strength of learning and growing together. In the end, that just may be the spark that moves you forward. If you must constantly question trust, there is no trust. If your opinion or view is not wholeheartedly and of your own free will, even after a family or friend’s opinion, you are not secure in your own relationship or emotions to carry trust, and most often, will find yourself in constant and continuous turmoil. The validity of your relationship will always be questionable.

Relationships are sacred. They are the giving of the heart, of your goals, dreams, and hopes. They are built from the ground up. Those imperfections that are sure to come along the way, must be handled with responsibility and accountability to keep things honest and fair. They must be handed internally by the two, to achieve any resolution. If you find the need for support, or another option, let it be not bias, but with the utmost respect to see you stand proud, strong, and with dignity to move forward in your own reasoning to render a wholeheartedly decision that is from your heart, a decision that respect the bounds of your relationship, privacy, and caring of your partner even when you do not agree.  

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