Through the fire
© 2017 Anthony D Darden

True, unadulterated love,
will always be there to pick you up.

You’re heard it before. You’ve seen couples break up just because they got bored with the same old sex routine. In some cultures, marriage and sex with the same person for a lifetime is deemed unnatural. It is believed to repress the animated nature and structure of human nature. Men, without their basic nature, become less vital and less ambitious without their vitality, which is connected to their killer instinct.  Men are basically hunters, even if they seem domesticated and less primitive from their ancestors.  They thrive on the thrill of the chase. It makes them powerful. It makes them strong. It defines them, and make them who they are. Once their sex is oxidized, their nature surfaces. They become restless, less responsive to their partner, and most often, seek their desires in emotions that are burning in their loins and the nature of their heart.
It is the one reason women scream, “I don’t understand”, or “I didn’t see it coming”, or “why?” Especially women who are just trophies, gold-diggers, and those who bring nothing to the table but their beauty and an endless supply of bed tricks. Women who bring nothing but tricks most often find themselves caged by their own deceit. Their own shortcomings usually spin out into disrespect, belittling, dishonesty, and distrust. Disaster is just over the arising. This can also be said about men who has nothing to offer the relationship beyond their prowess in bed and their good looks.
Beyond being physically appealing to each other, there at some point, hard and true decisions must be made. A relationship can’t run on good looks, lust, and attraction forever. At some point, reality will kick in. And if you don’t have a grip on it, hard reality will make the decisions for you, against your will, and against your nature, no matter if you are still in lust or not.
True love is an enigma. It is often something, whether we are seeking it or not, that just happens. Even to some that think they are living the life of love, until it slaps them in the face and shakes up their whole world. As the old proverb goes: “we can’t help who we fall in love with”. But if we choose to accept it in our heart, wholeheartedly, we can give it a righteous aim of our heart and desires.
The complexity of love is its chemistry. It is all consuming. It’s an addictive drug. Because when you click, and that click is real, there is no stopping the locomotive or jumping off the train. It’s going full speed ahead whether you like it or not. Though, chemistry is not always in mutual agreement. What one may feel for another, may not be how the other one feels. Even if that other person may feel the click, and may even be excited, and flirt, and smile, is often only the inclination of their own basic instinct to attraction and egotism assuring them they still have it.
In secure relationships, it is alright to flirt and be admired. It boosts confidence. It boosts self-esteem. It says you are attractive, you are beautiful, you are admired, and you are loved beyond the approval of your partner. It strengthens your character. It helps define your strength and your weaknesses. It helps in making cruel decisions in making choices for your own happiness that not only reflect in your character and trustworthiness, but in the strength and power you must bring to the table when sharing, love, respect, and admiration with your partner in the growth and security of your love and the aiming for a lifelong love affair.
Jealousy is a vile and wicked thing. If you cannot trust your partner, then there is no way you should be in a relationship because you have already thrown up one road block. If you go into a relationship with someone right out the gate, and they have done nothing to earn your distrust, it is not them you do not trust, but the ghost of the past, where someone has hurt you, and the characteristics of your own nature. And if this is the case, they are fighting a losing battle. Because no matter how good they treat you, or give of their heart, it will not change your disloyal disposition, unless, in fact, you change it yourself.
Power is in the glory. It is cultivated and ever growing. Much like a baby. Much like a teen. Much like an adult. Much like every human being that walk the face of the earth. We are an ever-changing evolution. What we feel and think today, is not necessary how we feel and think tomorrow. This goes to say about love and how we feel and grow with it from one day to the next. Tomorrow is never promised. Just as love. Especially if we don’t understand it, live it, and view it every day with our own two eyes. If you must view it through the eyes of another, it is not your view, which gives it no right to an honest and trustworthy decision. If your emotions are tarnished and led by another, they are not your emotions, but that of the person leading. When love is not your own decisions, and the true validation and trust of your own heart, they are the poison of another, where people learn, the grass is not greener on the other side. Especially when the truth has not been set free of its own volition.
There is the saying: “Every relationship has problems. Everyone at one time or another, hits a bump in the road”, and so on. And true to a cynical degree. If they are the roadblocks to failure, without recourse, you are bound by your own ignorance. Or you can stand proud in redemption. You can open your heart and mind to new aspiring wonders. You can choose to soar beyond the unknown into greatness, hope, and divinity, or a follower who hold no view beyond the eyes of another. You can choose to live love, stand for its greatness in you, or go on, like most, believing their happiness lie in the arms and heart of another.
If you want love, you first must turn to the mirror. You first must see and know what is within. If the core of your heart is kind, honest, loving, hopeful, faithful, caring, compassionate, loyal, trusting, and strong, you are off to a great start. Greatness stands of your path, if you stand for the righteous cause of your core heart values and hold them close and true to your heart. Who could resist such beauty and defiance? It is attractive. It is appealing. But most of all, it is noteworthy, and worth the challenge for intelligence, respectful, and admiration.
Falling in love is easy. Probably the easiest thing in the world. But defining it, nourishing it, and motivating it to grow, is hard and demands all your attention from the beginning till the end. There is no time to pause. There is no time to take a break. There is no time to think about it or carry any doubt. Because love is now, the moment your eyes meet and spiral into that first, breathtaking, passionate kiss. The moment you hold each other and utter the words, I love you. Seize the moment and embrace them with your heart. Hold them dear and let them vibrate through your soul. Give of them the gift of life by living every hour, moment, and second. Love may start with an attraction of lust. But the carry is coming to understand what you feel and knowing within your heart that it is true and real. Only then can you surrender to what you feel, without any hesitation or doubt.

Carry your love with an understanding of its value and worth. Carry your love with communication to challenge and define every step. Carry your love with compassion, loyalty, and relentless drive. Carry your love with great pride and dignity. Hold your head up, your back straight, and march into the great unknown and validation of your strength and power. Carry your love with a kiss and smile each morning, a call throughout the day, and the passion of your arms at night. Carry your tears to surrender, that they will be kissed away and held to the highest esteem. Carry your love in holding hands, moments of laughter, and adventures that will take your breath away. Carry your love to share every moment, whether it is good or bad. For those are the moments that make it real, honest, and true, that define and mold, that link two souls together, and make them unbreakable. Love that is carried beyond vanity and sex. Love that can move mountains, and will be there no matter what. Love that has been built from the ground up, and can withstand any storm. Love that is meaningful and real, whether you hinder or fall. True, unadulterated love, will always be there to pick you up. Because they know, without a doubt, you will forever do the same. 
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