© 2018 Anthony D Darden
The sad thing about saying I love you is the density applied. Saying I love you to compliance is an act and not a word. Loving someone is a meaning, thought, and reaction. It is built on sincerity, kindness, devotion, and trust. And over the years, with good intentions, it becomes an unshakable foundation.
Some, think love is automatic, an uncontrollable emotion. It is not. It may derive from a kind of new attraction, and manifest through unfounded emotions, that can lead to a train wreck, but true love can only be established and built on an honest foundation.
The emotions of love are given to you, but the foundation is not. Which is why understanding how you feel, and what you are going through, can become confusing, and if not the right choice, a loss instead of a gain. It is especially true in relationships. New love is the hardest. Depending on what you have to offer in a relationship, will determine the outcome.
Often, too little, too late, love is destroyed by the wrong choices and opinions. If those choices or opinions had a rewind, a lot of faith would be saved, heartache and pain would be erased, and true love could start anew.
Unfortunately, at anything great, we only have one shot. Love is a fickle mistress. It is easily bruised and hurt. Sometimes what we say out of anger, cannot be easily forgiven, even if we did not mean it. Sometimes things we do, out of fear of losing, is already a loss, simply because we did not have enough confidence, trust, and belief.
If you find your time trying to prevent the loss of love, the chances are, you have already lost. If you find yourself trying to fight and hold on to love, without trust, without understanding, and without honest communication, you are headed into a painful reality.
Love is something we all harbor in our heart. Some more than others. Depending on how you were raised. If you are from a family that laid down a foundation of love throughout your life, you understand the structure of sincerity, kindness, devotion, and trust. You understand how to apply yourself in a relationship and reap the rewards. You have a good sense of self, self-esteem, and an unshakable morality. You’re from good stock, and have a greater chance of a successful and vibrant relationship than someone that has never had love at home, have been abused, lack confidence, and very low self-esteem.
Whichever end of the spectrum you come from, in the end, the choices we make are our own. You can cry foul or ignorance if you want to, but love and its fickle nature wait for no one. It has more to gain, then to lose. It has more benefits than to set in tears and loneliness. It covers more ground in a lifetime than a moaning, aching heart of stagnation.
Love is meant to be enjoyed, shared, and aspired. It is the human nature of greatness, and all that is before us that shines in the stars. It is dreams and hopes. It is that first kiss that sparks a flame and takes our breath away. It is the warmth and comfort of all-consuming arms that embrace us with security, compassion, passion, and strength. It is where we know, without a doubt, we can turn to for advice, strength, comfort, and serenity. Love is our friend, our family, our brother, and sister, who hold no judgment whether right or wrong, who will pick us up when we are down and have the courage to tell us when we are taking the wrong path.
Love, most of all, and foremost, is an act and action. Words are meaningless without these two components. Too many people use I love you against the honesty of a kind heart. They abuse the forgiveness. They take advantage of a person’s good nature and their belief. They take advantage of the love they have in their heart for just one more chance that never comes.
If the act and action of love are just words, that are repetitious, and never come with a defining point and clarity of change, to move forward, then it’s only a matter of time before reality sets in, and the years you could have spent on building something great and real, has past you by, is a sad loss. That kind of loss can be dull and indecisive. That once sharp person with a good sense of self, self-esteem, confidence, and an unshakable morality isn’t so sure anymore.
Time is fleeting. It waits for no one. Time and love go hand in hand. You have one shot at real love. And if you are lucky enough, and learn from all your faults and failures, maybe two, if you act with actions that define and build, if you believe in the value of your worth and what you have to offer, if you lay the foundation and assert the building blocks, no matter the road ends, I love you awaits with clarity, courtesy, and respect, even with faults and failures.